Giving Power to Other People

Doyou give power to other people?  If Yes, then perhaps it is time that you stop giving power.  It is probably also important to realise that you let this situation occur.  While most of us don’t enjoy confrontation it is important that we take control of our situation.  We choose to let others influence the way we feel.  While it is healthy and informative to hear others opinions it is also important that they hear yours.  In many cases intelligent people agree to disagree and we need to understand that this is okay.  In abusive situations there is always the abuser and the abusee.  The abusee chooses to be the abusee or victim.  In every dominant person, there needs to be someone willing to be submissive.  (I am referring to simple confrontation between two individuals.) 

Many years ago, I counselled a person having difficulties at work.  Every time this person made a mistake her boss would let fly with anger and insults.  I told my client to simply listen to the abuse and when the boss stopped to simply say “I find your manner both inappropriate and hurtful”.  While for my client this was a huge step, the results were well worth the effort.  The boss simply looked dazed and bewildered and walked away.  He returned soon after and he apologised to my client for his behaviour.  He then spent the next week trying to make up for his inappropriate behaviour.  By not responding to certain comments we are giving people the permission to continue to abuse us.  We need to break the cycle. 

Remember we have the choice to not be submissive.

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